I feel like I'm terribly sick. But I don't want to see a doctor because I'm terrified of hospitals and anything related to medicine.

I'm serious, though. This isn't one of my "ohmygod I'm going to die" moments of exaggerated pain and paranoia. I seriously think I'm sick. Probably, but I really really really fucking hope not, the dreaded C word. And it scares the fuck out of me.

Like, how do you even tell people that you think you're sick? They'd probably just tell you to "man up" and "stop exaggerating". And God, I hope I'm only exaggerating.

It's not like I haven't thought of going to the doctor to make sure. But just the mere thought of seeing a doctor makes me cry and hyperventilate and possibly break down from an anxiety attack. So I convince myself that I'm okay even though I'm pretty sure I'm not okay and I know this is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done (or didn't do) but I don't really know what to do and everything about this is making me freak out.