An Idiot's Guide to Oral Presentations

[1] Do not eat anything before the OP. 

This will guarantee you a splitting headache with a touch of lightheaded-ness. It will make you feel like you are floating. Isn't that great?

[2] Sleep late the night before your OP. 

You'll bore yourself with your speech and start mumbling things that are not related to you topic.

[3] Maintain eye contact. 

Your OP would have been effective if you're maintaining eye contact with the audience, not with the wall at the back of the room.

[4] Make a script. 

And leave it on your chair so that you can stutter all your way through your OP.

[5] Choose an airconditioned room for the OP. 

And freeze yourself to death before your presentation starts.