Ham and Cheese Croissant: The Tale of the Pink Panda

It's rare to see a pink panda brooding over her ham and cheese croissant in the darkest corner of a Starbucks cafe. But if you happen to be there early on a Sunday morning, you must have seen her. Besides, there wasn't much of a crowd at that time.

The pink panda was staring at her croissant as if it was the first time she saw one. She stared. And stared. And stared some more before she decided to poke it with her fork. And continued on staring at it.

panda: *stare*
croissant: *can't raise an eyebrow cause it doesn't have one*
panda: wahh.. ayoko sayo.. hindi kita kakainin. hindi ganyan kalambot ang bamoo... >.<

And the pink panda went back to her brooding. She was pretending to study with her eyes fixed on an empty page of her notebook. Yes, pretending was the word. She was still ignoring the croissant in front of her until she heard her stomach growl in complaint.

panda: *stared at croissant again*
croissant: *can't roll eyes coz it doesn't have one*
panda: masarap ba ang bamboo kahit tuyo na (brown na kasi yung kulay) at tinutubuan na ng mushroom (ung ham and cheese sa gitna)...?

The panda had no choice because her stomach continued growling, and thus decided to eat the overstared croissant. Surprisingly, she found it delicious and was able to eat almost half of it before she started brooding again. She stared at nothing in particular and became teary-eyed after a while.

panda: kon-chaaaaaaaan...T.T
croissant: kainin mo na lang ako, pwede? (joke lang. hindi nmn nagsasalita ang mga croissant e. >.<)

Kon was the name of the pink panda's pet lion. It was round, yellow-orangey in color, has a wooden button for its belly button, and its head resembles a sunflower.

panda: hindi nga siya sunflower e...!! >.<

Okay, so scratch that last part. 'sunflower' is taboo around here. Anyway, the panda was still brooding and her pet lion, Kon, caused her all that grief.

[flashback]

She was about to take a trip back home to her homeland. Her things were packed, her bags ready, and she can't wait to go. She locked the door of her apartment and went on her way. But Loki, the god of mischief, decided to play a trick on her. She tripped on a rock and the keys she was was juggling on her hands went flying to the air --- and landed on a nearby swamp. The keys sank and the swamp bubbled in delight. And as if that wasn't enough, an alligator swallowed the said keys and swam away quickly.

The pink panda could just stare as all of that happened before her eyes in a split second. It wouldn't have been that big a deal until she remembered that she had left her pet lion in her apartment and locked him there with no company. She was in so much distress and she had no idea where she was actually going. Her train home was still in 10 hours. She allowed her feet to bring her anywhere and before she knew it, she was standing outside a Starbucks cafe.

[end of flashack]

The pink panda stayed there all day, brooding about her pet lion, her half-eaten croissant completely forgotten. People started to stare and throw weird glances at her but she couldn't care any less. When it was time for her to leave for the train station, she quickly dried her eyes and slowly got up from her seat. She glanced back at her croissant and started sniffing again.

panda: mas masarap pa rin ang bamboo...
croissant: *can't punch the lights out of the panda cause it doesn't have hands to egin with*


THE END

moral of the story: you can't learn anything from a nonsense story.

Lost in Cubao

shit. natatawa na lng ako ngaun. ang bobo ko kasi e.

first time kong pumunta sa cubao na mag-isa lang. kukunin ko kasi ung ticket ko pauwi para next week. sobrang excited na kong umuwi e. hahahaha [bad trip nga lang kasi na-extend pa ung finals. hmph.]

so un nga, nag-jeep lang ako papunta dun sa bus terminal. second time ko pa lang sumakay ng jeep papunta dun pero last time kasama ko si kuya kaya ok lng. nagmamarunong kasi ako ngaun kaya sumakay na lang ako ng jeep. feeling ko kasi alam ko nmn kung saan ako bababa. hindi ko nga alam kung magkano ung pamasahe e. shit, ang loser. >.<

useless din ung patingin-tingin ko sa labas ng jeep kasi wla rin akong idea kung nasan na ako. basta inaabangan ko lang ung bus terminal. dun ako bababa e. biglang huminto ung jeep dun sa may overpass. [di ko rin alam kung saang overpass un.] bumaba ung mga pasahero. lahat sila. shit. anong gagawin ko??? bababa na rin ako? e wala pa nmn ako sa terminal e... waaahhh... no choice. bumaba na lang ako. natakot ako dun sa driver e. baka kung san nya pa ko dalhin [yuck, paranoid. haha].

1st dilemma: wala akong idea kung nasan ako. as in WALA. basta ang alam ko may overpass malapit sakin. un lng. patingin-tingin uli ako sa area. di lang ako nagpapa-obvious na nawawala ako. diretso lang ako ng lakad. akyat sa overpass. tingin-tingin uli. shiiiiit. asan na ung gateway?? [un lang ang alam kong landmark sa cubao e. hahaha] magtatanong na sana ako dun sa nagtitinda ng sunglasses kaso nahihiya ako. iniisip ko n lng maglalakad na lang ako hanggang makita ko ung gateway/farmer's plaza/ali mall. kahit alin dun. bahala na.

2nd dilemma: wla akong load. shit nmn o. ngaun pa ko nawalan ng load. actually, meron pa nmn.. P2.00. haha. kamusta nmn un. di ko rin alam kung sino ittxt ko. hindi ko rin alam kung anong ittxt ko. sasabihin kong nwawala ako sa cubao? baka pagtawanan muna ko bago ako tulungan. useless din, wala na akong pangreply sakanya e. di ko rin madescribe kung nasan na talaga ako. ayaw kong tumigil maglakad e. nakakatakot tumambay dun. baka lapitan ako ng holdupper. waahh. [shit, paranoid talga. lol] so un, naka-reserve lng ung last P2.00 ko for emergency purposes. hahaha.

3rd dilemma: hindi ako marunong tumawid ng mag-isa. takte naman. ngaun pa ko natakot tumawid. bobo talaga. parang paikot-ikot nga lng ako sa isang block kasi ayaw kung tumawid e. minsan lang ako tumatawid pag may kasabay na ko. morbid kasi ang imagination ko pag may nasasagasaan e. >.<

mga 30min din ako naglalakad sa cubao. magtataxi na sna ako kaso baka mas lalo akong iligaw nun e. wag na lng. lakad na lng ako. feeling ko pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga tao kasi naiiyak na ko. actually, natatawa ako sa stituation ko pero pagod na kasi ako. gusto ko nang umuwi. patingin-tingin na lng uli ako sa mga bulidings. nagmumukha na talaga akong nawawalang bata. lakad pa ko ng ilang steps tas pagtingin ko sa side ko --- shit!!! gateway un ah!! f***, pano ko pupunta dun?? tatawid ako?? [tingin-tingin uli sa sides.] buti na lng may kasama akong tatawid. muahahaha. konti na lng. makakapunta na rin ako sa terminal.

4th dilemma: ayokong dumaan sa may gateway/araneta center. wala, mataas ang pride ko. hindi ako dadaan dun. di ako lalapit sa mga lasallian at taga-ue na un. NO WAY. iikot n lng uli ako. so un nga.. umikot ako. mas lalo akong nawala. inabot pa ako ng 15min bago makarating sa terminal.

phew. at last. nakarating din. 5min lng nmn ako dun. nagbayad lang ako ng ticket tas umalis na ko. lakad uli papuntang gateway. ayoko na sumakay ng jeep. sa LRT na lng uli ako. mejo proud pa nmn ako sa sarili ko kasi nahanap ko ung terminal nang mag-isa. muahahaha. nakisabay uli ako sa mga tao nung tumawid sila. may dalawang guys na naglalakad sa harap ko. ang daldal. nakakainis. talo pa ko kung chumismis.

guy in dark blue: blahblahblah

guy in brown: hahaha

guy in dark blue: animo la salle! beat ateneo!

takte!! mga lasallian pala un.. T.T umiiwas nga ako sa crowd nila e. shit. ue na nga kalaban nyo, beat ateneo pa rin?? arrghh. tiningnan ko na lang sila ng masama behind their backs. bad trip e. tas biglang napalingon sa likod ung naka-dark blue na guy. shit. na-sense nya ata na masama ung tingin ko sknila. nah, who cares...

guy in dark blue: blahblahblah [may binulong dun sa isang guy]

guy in brown: blahblahblah [di ko nmn naririnig ung pinaguusapan nila e]

guy in dark blue: [tingin uli sa likod]

shit. napansin nya ata na naka-ateneo shirt ako. wahh. di ko nmn sinadya na mag-ateneo shirt ngaun. lucky shirt ko kasi un kaya ko sinuot [useless din, nwala ako e. >.<]. inignore ko n lng sila. binilisan ko n lng lakad ko tas linampasan ko sila. sabay taas ng ulo para may taray effect. wahahaha. di pa rin ako dumaan sa may araneta kahit andun na ung entrance sa gateway. punong-puno kasi ng red at green dun. christmas na christmas ang dating. haha. wala e, mataas talaga pride ko [go ateneo!! lol].

inabot uli ako ng 5min bago ko mahanap ung isa pang entrance ng gateway. phew. tatlong escalator na lng makakauwi na ko. weeee~~

at last, nakasakay rin sa LRT. wahahahaha. ang galing ko. lol. next time talaga di na ko sasakay ng jeep papuntang cubao. hindi na rin ako mag-ooffer bumili ng ticket ko pauwi. haha, ngaun lang uli ako nagkaron ng escapade na ganito. ang saya palang mawala. mejo nakaka-paranoid nga lng. hahahaha.

when you can't skate, just scream

my first time stepping on ice. it's definitely not as easy as i thought it would be. i couldn't even let go of the railings. i was clinging to it for my dear life. haha.

naikot ko ung skating rink just by holding/gripping the railings. haay. nakakahiya sa mga bata dun. super galing nila magskate e. >.< kakainggit. hehe. pero after a couple of rounds, mejo natuto na rin ako magskate (with the help of donnah). grabe, di talaga ako maka-skate ng wlang humahawak sakin. dumudulas lang ako sa ice e. at ako lang ata ung sumisigaw/tumitili pag nadudulas ako. 

finally, after more than half an hour of skating, natuto na rin ako magskate mag-isa. no railings, no walking posts - just on my own. and at the blinding speed of 1step/5sec. yesh. i think i'm slower than a turtle on ice. but at least it doesn't get to wear those terribly painful skates. tsk tsk.

but the greatest struggle of all is to try not to hit/get hit by those gliding midgets. i mean, those kids just appear out of nowhere. they're practically all over the place. sheesh. but for their age, they're pretty good. nakakagulat nga lng sila kasi bigla na lng silang sumusulpot. O.o

pero at least hindi ako natumba kahit first time ko lng mag-skating. weeee~ accomplishment na un. hahaha. pero sayang din kasi fun daw matumba sa gitna e. mejo nakakahiya nga lang. LOL. next time ko na lng ita-try. haha XD

acknowldegements                                                                                                       (haha, xempre nmn dapat may ganito...)

cheap - thanks for the invitation. and for the free tickets. couldn't have skated without those. haha ^^

hannah - hindi ako makakarating sa megamall kung wala ka. hahaha. ^_~

donnah - my walking railing/post. hahaha. sorry kung ang hirap kong turuan mag-skates!  >.<

lloyd - another mobile post. lol. and camera/video man. XD nag-camwhoring nnmn tayo! lol (upload mo na ung pic and vids! hahaha)

rey - just for tagging along, thanks na rin. ^^

mom & dad - my financial supporters. haha. love ya <3

- kaori

too much seven in one day

weeee

haay... nakakainis... ayaw akong payagan ni daddy na pumunta sa pisay bukas... T_T kukunin ko lang nmn ung yearbook ko e... masama ba un??

sobrang pinagplanuhan ko pa nmn mga palusot ko para payagan niya ako... buti pa si mommy pinayagan ako... mga 30min din ako nag-ipon ng lakas para magpaalam kay mommy... akala ko kasi di ako papayagan... pero pumayag nmn kaagad siya... tpos akala ko ok na... may karugtong pa pala ung sasabihin niya... "paalam ka kay daddy..."

waaaaaaaaaaahh... no way. nuh uh. ayokong magpaalam kay daddy. nooooooooooo.... kaya nga sau lang ako nagsabi e... sigurado nmn kasing di ako papayagan ni daddy... T_T

after 30min uli...pinapatawag daw ako nina mommy.... noooooooo... di pa ako ready... mag-iisip pa ko ng mga palusot ko...

mga palusot ko:

1. kukunin ko po ung yearbook ko.
>> totoo naman e. ito nmn talaga main reason ko kaya pupunta ako dun.

2. may kasama naman po ako.
>> ilang oras din akong naghanap at namilit ng mga tao para lang may makasama ako pumunta dun. hindi ako marunong pumunta dun ng mag-isa e. -.-"

3. may sasakyan naman po kami.
>> uhh... actually, wala nmn talaga. magko-commute lang kami. pero sasakyan nmn un diba?

4. bibisita lang po sa school.
>> more than one year na rin akong di nakakapunta dun so mejo excited na rin akong makita uli ung school ko.

5. bonding po kasama mga batchmates ko.
>> minsan lang kami magkikita-kita ng ganito. miss ko na mga batchmates ko.


mga pangontra ni daddy sa palusot ko:

1. ipakuha mo na lang sa iba.
>> naman. ayoko nang gumawa ng kung ano mang letter para lang makuha ung yearbook ko. ung last time na gumawa ako ng authorization letter, inabot ako ng ilang oras para lang mkagawa ng two-lined letter. kamusta nmn un??

2. dalawa lang nmn pala kaung magkasama. huwag ka nang pumunta.
>> waaahh... matapos kong ubusin ang load ko para lang maghanap ng makakasama, di lang nmn pala ako papayagan... haaay... kaya nga naghanap muna ako ng makakasama bago magpaalam para payagan ako tpos wala rin pala... tsaka marami nmn talaga kami e... kaso sa school na kami magmi-meet nung iba kasi sa ibang lugar din sila galing...

3. di ka pwedeng magcommute.
>> asar. kailangan ba talaga un isampal sa mukha ko?? kainis. tsss... sa 4years ng HS life ko, TATLONG beses lang ako nakapagcommute. ung una, tumakas lang ako kasi gusto kong ma-experience ang pagcommute. xempre, napagalitan ako pagdating ko sa bahay (pero si mommy pinagtawanan lang ako. sabi niya sakin "first time mo?". pfft... haha.. nakakatawa...) ung 2nd and 3rd time nmn... hmmm... kailangan talagang magcommute para dun sa research stuff... buti n lng wala nun si daddy kaya nakatakas uli ako... XD XD palagi kasi akong naka-carpool kaya bihira lang talaga ako makapagcommute. at kung hindi ako naka-carpool, mkikisabay ako sa classmate kong may kotse... o kaya ihahatid ako sa school. haaay...

4. wala namang tao dun kasi wala pang pasok. sinong bibisitahin mo dun?
>> uhh... ung guard po...? O.o naman... masama bang bumisita sa school...?? di na nga nila ako pinayagan pumunta dun nung foundation day e... haaay... kahit nmn pangit ung school nmin nami-miss ko pa rin un... malay ko ba kung may improvement na rin dun... balita ko naka-tiles na daw ung food court e... (huwaaaaat??)

5. magkikita nmn kau pagbalik niyo sa manila e.
>> waaahh.. di nmn ako pumupuntang UP kaya di ko nmn sila nakikita... mamimiss ko ba sila kung nagkikita naman kami sa manila?? hmmpph... tsaka busy rin nmn sila sa college life e... haaaaaaaay...


xempre di ko na sinagot si daddy... di nmn ako sumasagot sa parents ko e... tsaka baka mas lalo akong di payagan... pero aun... di pa rin ako pinayagan kahit anong gawin ko... haaay... bad trip talaga... minsan na nga lang ako lumabas ng bahay tapos di pa nila ako papayagan... kainiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. tssssssss... bahala nga sila... tinatamad na tuloy ako pumunta... nakaka-walang gana e... pfft..

When all you want to do is sleep but can't...

dear diary/journal/blog (whatever),

can i give you another name?

cause diary/journal/blog sucks.

so i'm calling you...

hmm...

...

...

...

kitsune.

...

...

dear kitsune,

i can't sleep.

what do normal people do when they can't sleep...?

count sheep...?

nah, i'd rather count kitsunes.

coz kitsunes eat sheep.

one kitsune.

two kitsunes.

three kitsunes.

four kitsunes.

five kitsunes.

six, seven, eight, nine, ten kitsunes.

...

...

...

one kitsune jumping over a fence.

two kitsunes jumping over a fence.

three kitsunes jumping over a fence.

four kitsunes jumping over a fence.

five kitsunes jumping over a fence.

six, seven, eight, nine, ten kitsunes jumping over a fence.

...

...

...

not working.

milk...?

i don't wanna drink milk.

besides, i'm too lazy to move from my spot.

...

...

...

geez, i'm bored.

bored.

bored.

bored.

the internet's slow.

must be because of all the nocturnals out there.

hey, i'm not a nocturnal.

that was before.

i'm an insomniac now.

which means i couldn't sleep.

even if i wanted to.

and even if i badly need to.

cause i still have a consultation around 8 tomorrow.

i mean, later.

so that gives me less than, hmmm, 3 hours to sleep.

ah, screw sleep.

i'll just doze off during my class tomorrow.

i mean, later.

or do you think i should just skip my class...?

i've been dyin' to do that all summer.

but i haven't got the chance.

tch.

too bad, eh?

...

...

...

this is not working...

i guess i'll just ramble off to sleep.

-shrug-

i want to eat ramen.

i haven't eaten one before but naruto seems to like it a lot.

do kitsunes eat ramen, too?

i'd let you have some if you want.

hmm...

you know what?

i just realized i'm turning seventeen in a few months.

^O.o^

no. way.

but i don't want to be seventeen.

-pouts-

i want to be sixteen forever.

wait, i think i said this when i was thirteen.

tch.

i'll just forget my birthday, not celebrate it, and pretend i'm still sixteen.

you think that will work?

on second thought... i don't wanna be sixteen...

i wanna be fourteen...

coz fourteen's such a nice number...

reminds me of mitsui...

and well, seven times two is fourteen.

i love seven.

but i don't want to be seventeen.

-sigh-

this is going nowhere...

where's that sleep fairy when you need her?

geez.

anyhows, staring at the keyboard doesn't really help.

i'll go stare at my phone instead.

g'night, kitsune.

Insomnia sucks...

and carrots, too.

i hate them both.

they're so not good for my health.

and they're gonna be the death of me.

...

...

i think.

...

...

darn.

i freakin' have a seven-thirty class tomorrow.

shit.

make that later.

arrgghh.

the hell's wrong with me??

i wanna go to bed already.

double darn.

i'm already in bed.

azhool.

wtf am i mumbling about?

i think my brain's already asleep.

tch.

oh, wait.

i don't have a lit class later.

just the consultation.

riiiiiiiiiight.

wth am i supposed to tell my teacher...?

"uhh... i do think elizabethan women are... you know... push-overs... coz men bullied them back then and they seem to be enjoying it."

yeah, right.

i am so not aiming for an F.

-sigh-

i wanna cut my classes.

ES sucks.

well, not really.

it just...

...

...

sucks (for the lack of a better word).

i'm gonna sit at the back of the classroom later, hide behind those tall guys, and sleep my way through class.

or is it better if i remain in my seat in front and sleep my way through class...?

ah hell, who cares?

either way, i'd still get my well-deserved sleep.

hah!

darn.

i almost forgot about the workshop.

tch.

i just hope i don't fall asleep while drilling the aluminum shit, i mean, sheet.

unless i want to drill my hands instead.

gulp.

no thanks.

...

...

...

ahh, fawk.

i've been rambling again.

geez.

to hell with this.

insomnia sucks.

and carrots, too.

Suicidal...? Nah, I don't think so.

Hmmm...

Well... it's not the first time I nearly got hit by a car...

And I've only been hit once (by a bicycle, no less...) because I always have someone to pull me out of the street most of the time...

but yesterday...

yesterday was stupid.

I was stupid.

And mentally impaired (probably from too much lead in engineering workshop... hmm...).

Cause tell me, who in their right minds would cross the street half-asleep...?

No one.

Except me.

I don't really know what happened yesterday. i was on my way home and as i was crossing the road from the blue eagle gym to the soccer field, I fell asleep.

Yep, just like that.

But I was still walking. I think. Or I must have stopped in the middle of the road or something.

Next thing I know, I was startled by a car's loud honking and its bumper's only a few inches away from me. D:

Obviously, I was in its way.

So I was there, standing in the middle of the road, and I just have to stare at the said car stupidly (as if it would say something. duh.).

In all honesty, I didn't know what to do. I took a step back before I decided to just cross the street.

I was in a state of shock for a few seconds before I found myself laughing my ass off. I had absolutely no idea about what just happened. I really must've fallen asleep while crossing. I can't think of any other way to explain it. hmmm...

But it was a funny experience. Hilarious, even. I have to do this again sometime... not.



P.S.
To all the drivers who got caught in the jam (all six or seven of you) because of my stupidity, I am deeply sorry.

when boredom strikes...

arrggghh..

nakakainis...

nakakainis talga...

i don't know why i'm so pissed off, but i am.

and i don't even know why.

kasi hindi ako nakapanood ng spiderman3...?

kasi hindi ko napanood ung episode ng prince of tennis ngaun...?

kasi hindi ko mapapanood ung episode ng hana yori dango...?

kasi nawalan ako ng load...?

kasi umuwi na sina mommy...?

kasi hindi ako makalaro ng weff ngaun kasi wlang winzip 'tong pc sa internet shop...?

kasi wlang headphones 'tong pc ko...?

kasi ang bagal ng internet...?

kasi gusto kong magsulat pero wala akong papel...?

kasi inaantok na ako pero hindi ako pwedeng matulog dito sa internet shop...?

kasi nakakapikon ung summer classes ko...?

kasi hindi ako nakasama dun sa summer camp...?

kasi... kasi... kasi...

ewan...!

basta... naiinis ako ngaun...

gusto ko ng bagong stuff toy...

gusto kong maglaro ng bball sa arcade...

gusto kong pumuntang EK...

maglalaro ako ng bump car...

tpos bubungguin ko lahat ng lumapit sakin...

kaya nga tinawag na bump car diba??

o kaya sa star city na lng...

gusto kong pumunta dun sa dante's inferno...

di ko pa nata-try pumasok dun...

masaya raw dun... nakakatakot...

tpos magmumukmok na lng ako dun sa limbo...

dun namn daw napupunta ang mga nawawalang bata e...

ung mga tinataboy at pinabayaang bata...

mag-gho-ghost haunting na lng ako dun...

kakaibiganin ko na lng ung mga multo dun para masaya...

tpos mananakot na lng kami ng mga engot na pumapasok dun para lang takutin sarili nila...

haaaayy...

wala rin...

naiinis pa rin ako...

tch.

deadlines, eh?

darn.


i'm supposed to be at home right now, watching ninja turtles.


yup, those green creatures with shells on their back, wearing different colored bandanas. aren't they the coolest creatures you've ever seen...? lol.


oh shit. it's past six. i just missed an episode. again. bloody hell.


anyway... stupid rain. i'm stuck here at school. doing paper works. freezing to death. listening to the rumbling of my tummy every now and then. (i wonder if there's a wolf in there. i think that's howling that i hear. heh.)


man, this is stupid. i'm supposed to be doing my paper, not babbling about some useless, random stuffs. geez. i think i'm having another memory lapse. it seems that i'm forgetting that deadly thing called DEADLINE.


gah. it still bothers me why they call it 'deadline'.


dead.


line.


i don't see a point there. there's a line. and it's dead. how stupid can that get...?


hmmm... or maybe because one will be downright dead when he/she didn't submit the bloody requirement within that given time...?


makes sense somehow. -shrug-


but still, it's stupid. curse you whoever you are who thought of the insane idea of having bloody deadlines. (that's the craziest idea i've ever heard, just so you know.) to whoever you are, i hate you. you can go kill yourself now before i find you, else you wanted to die rather brutally.


oh... riiiight. i'm supposed to be bloody doing my paper.


and though it pains me to stop babbling, i'm afraid i have no choice. i have a bloody DEADLINE to put up with.


so yeah, i'm outta here.


later.

031707
Sec C- foyer
07:13pm


current mood: bored. tired.
current song: (i couldn't care less what it is)


take me in your arms
and let's fly away
up there to the countless stars
a world where we can go astray.

away from all this madness
that's slowly eating me inside
build me up a fortress
a place to feel safe and hide.

pull me out of this nightmare
wrapping me up in a cold embrace
and lead me through that flight of stairs
to save me from this frightful craze.

and no matter what happens
don't you ever let go
promise me you'll never let me drift
in that river that for all eternity will flow.

take me in your arms
and let's fly away
up there to the countless stars
a world where we can go astray

away from all this madness
that's slowly eating me inside
build me up a fortress
a place to feel safe and hide

pull me out of this nightmare
wrapping me up in a cold embrace
and lead me through that flight of stairs
to save me from this frightful craze

and no matter what happens
don't you ever let go
promise me you'll never let me drift
in that river that for all eternity will flow

Of Fools and Idiosyncracies

After three days, I still can't get my mind of that incident. That has got to be the most embarrassing day I ever had since I entered college.

Things had been pretty normal that day. I was reading a novel, pretending and utterly failing to study for a quiz, cramming my homework and such... yup, normal indeed.

Or so i thought...

We had to attend this 'Harry Potter' talk for our English class. So there we were, seated at the backmost of the lecture room, waiting for the speaker to apparate and start his/her talk, when somebody told us we were in the wrong room. -.-" Turns out there was a sign just outside the door that the 'Harry Potter' talk was moved elsewhere. Oops, sorry, I must have had a brain malfunction.

It wouldn't have been that embarrassing if the other occupants of the room weren't staring at us as we went outside the room. geez... they should mind their own business, really.

I can only hope that was the embarrassing part of my story. But that's only the start of it. I should have taken it as some sort of premonition.

So yeah, we went to the blasted room, attended the talk, yadayadayada... I was seated right in front of the speaker, two seats in front of my teacher, and I was busy doing my homework for my next subject, Literature. I don't know if the speaker, or my teacher, saw me or they were just pretending not to see me. Well, either way, I don't care. I was just waiting for the speaker to end her talk quickly so that we can all go.

We didn't leave the room right after the talk was finished. We lingered there for a few minutes talking about the novel we were supposed to discuss in Literature. There were still a few of us who haven't finished reading the novel so we were sharing some insights. I was the one who went out of the room first and they followed suit. Two guys who were walking right beside me, engaged in a conversation that went something like this:

Guy1: anong chapter ka na ba?
Guy2: chapter one pa lang...

Of course I was kinda shocked because the novel was four chapters long, not to mention we are supposed to have a quiz that afternoon. And so, I reacted a bit too quickly. I took a half-step forward so that I can at least face them sideways while we talk and exclaimed, "seryoso??!"

They were taller than me so I had to look up just to see their faces and you can just imagine my disbelief when I realized that those two weren't my blockmates and they just happened to be walking beside me, talking about some stuffs. O.o oh god... and they were shocked as well. They were looking at me with a weird look on their faces that can be translated to something like 'huh? what the hell is your problem? do we bloody know you?'

It was really bloody embarrassing...! I almost wished I could evaporate, melt, sublime, apparate, or whatever means of vanishing there is. Congratulations twerp, another brain malfunction strikes again.

Darn. I didn't know I could be so stupid. I almost wanted to hit my head on the wall in shame. If wearing a paper bag over my head wouldn't be more embarrassing, I would have considered doing that. Actually, I did. but since there was no paper bag available, I settled on hiding behind my blockmate's back all the way to our classroom.

It could've been funny in any other case. Actually, I find myself laughing at that silly situation. But yeah, it's pretty hard to laugh at yourself when you know that you've just made yourself the laughing stock of the world for the next ten million years. Maybe I should start writing my autobiography. And I could entitle it A Series of Unfortunate Events. Yeah. That would be nice. At least I'd still be the laughing stock of the world after that ten million years lasted. Ha.

Anyway, before I embarrass myself furthermore, I'm ending this post. I'm not even sure why I posted this. Some sort of remembrance, maybe. *shrug*

An Idiot's Guide to Oral Presentations

[1] Do not eat anything before the OP. 

This will guarantee you a splitting headache with a touch of lightheaded-ness. It will make you feel like you are floating. Isn't that great?

[2] Sleep late the night before your OP. 

You'll bore yourself with your speech and start mumbling things that are not related to you topic.

[3] Maintain eye contact. 

Your OP would have been effective if you're maintaining eye contact with the audience, not with the wall at the back of the room.

[4] Make a script. 

And leave it on your chair so that you can stutter all your way through your OP.

[5] Choose an airconditioned room for the OP. 

And freeze yourself to death before your presentation starts.

It's not everyday you get to meet a psychotic teacher

Fuck. What the hell?! who, in their right minds, would suddenly accuse a group of innocent people to be a bunch of liars? Well, I’ll be damned. Only she can do that.

It’s not everyday that you get to meet a psychotic teacher. I can only thank the gods for keeping my sanity intact all these time. I could’ve strangled her right then and there. Arrrgghh… c’mon, anyone who had the bad luck of knowing her won’t even dare disagree with me. Well, not unless they wanted to die from the hands of all those people who wanted so much to get rid of her.

-sigh- if only it’s that easy to just blatantly scream to her face that she’s f****** insane. But damn, my grade is at stake here. Unless I want to fail her subject that badly and die of embarrassment afterwards, I have no choice but to risk my sanity and put up with all her madness. Oh, merciful gods from above, what have I done to deserve such cruelty? I haven’t even plotted murder [yet] against my previous lab teacher no matter how incredibly annoying he (she..?) is.

I dare you to say that my reasons are not justifiable. I’ll state them out clearly for you, if you want. It was only when I met her that I really understood the meaning of ‘looks can be deceiving’. Hah! Deceiving, my a**! I was stupid enough to believe she had any bit of goodness in her. Okay, I’ll give her 1% of goodness for giving me partial points – wait, make that partial point (without the 'S') - in my last long exam. Like that would help. Duh.

I wouldn’t have been so scared to recite in her class if it weren’t for the gut feeling that i'd get that she has this ability to eat me, if not the whole class, alive. Okay... that's just sick... eurgh... but still, my statement still stands. She's just too easy to hate. Besides, what kind of teacher would tell her students that they should already know whatever it is that they were asking her about. Uhhmm... hello? Earth to you, i'm-not-saying-your-name-coz-it's-taboo. That's why we asked, isn't it? Coz we don't f****** understand what the hell it is that you're talking about. Oh, for goodness sake! You're a teacher! And teachers are supposed to TEACH, not make students feel that they can't get any more stupid than they feel they already are. And she's the only teacher i know who takes her anger out on her students' grades (well, aside from my physics teacher back in HS, that is).

As much as i wanted to elaborate on her being such an a**, i'm afraid i might go to hell if i do so. Ahh, i pity the fool who fell in love with her. Ooops... my tongue, i mean hand, slipped. Forget i ever said that. XD

And now, i can only pray for some sort of divine intervention to save us, if not me, from this cruel madness . If that won't work, i doubt anything else will.

Well, i guess i better stop ranting. Someone might sue me for doing so. But i think being in prison is better than having her for a teacher. Lol. Juz kidding. XD XD i just hope she doesn't read this. -deadpan- but if, by any chance, she does, it's either she kills me, or i kill myself in shame beforehand... oh well, at least one got rid of the other. -shrug- anyway, i really ought to end this post. I'm still too young to die. I still need to live to start a hate campaign against her. -evil laugh-

well, i'm off. Later, guys.

Ja mata ashita. ^_~

Blinding Ignorance

I guess I was just to blind to see
that you were always right beside me
but now that you're gone,
I'm not really sure
if all of that was real,
or just a mere game of illusion

you stood with me like a shadow
and I thought you'd never leave
but when darkness came and embraced me,
you were nowhere to be seen

you were always there to guide me -
a blinding light so I won't stray
but I can't seem to understand
why you chose to leave me behind
when night came and held me a prisoner

you don't have to stay if you don't want to
so stop pretending that you care
because in this cold, dark place I am drowning in
I am left to drift alone in my misery

the low beating of drums calls out to me from afar
but I'm too tired to open my eyes
because it's either I find no one out there,
or i'll just fail to see them

Worthless things I just have to ponder on...

Sigh.

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now... that effing math midterms drained me - mentally and emotionally.

I'm not happy.

Nor depressed.

Nor fustrated.

I just feel... empty.

No, not really empty. It's more like empty in an I-don't-feel-anything-else kind of empty.

Okay, that confused me.

Who cares?

I'm not even in the mood to rant. Or ramble, at the very least.

This is so not me.

Honestly, this is starting to scare me. Recently, I always find myself staring in space for no reason at all. Not normal, I know. But what is normal?

Nothing is.

I feel so restless.

Maybe I'm dying.

Or not. =.=

Sigh.

And now, in the middle of a silent night, shattered by the loud yet surprisingly comforting music I never understood, I'm left to ponder about things that are not even worth pondering on...

things such as life...

and death...

things that are so abstract... yet so real...

things that can't exist without the other...

things that are defined yet left unexplained...

ah, the irony of things...

it never ceases to amaze me.

which leads me back to thinking how ironic life can really be...

when all you see is the treasure box and not the gold within...

I pity the fool who found this box...

but never had the key to open it...

that's when the bittersweet truth hits you hard...

when you thought you had everything,

when in fact you have nothing...

ah, life.

words can never be enough to explain it.

pull me out of this trance I was slowly sucked into
wake me up from this dream I was never meant to be in
offer some light to this world enveloped by darkness

on second thought...

coldness can be a good company.

it numbs you of the pain you never wanted to feel.

it turns you into a block of ice, incapable of feeling anything.

it makes you... indifferent.

and now you tell me,
cause I can never tell;
if it's better to feel false emotions,
or to stop feeling at all.