Wake Up, Dear. Reality's Calling.

What would you have done, when all you ever wanted was to escape from the very thing that had been chasing you all this time?

Reality's been knocking on my door for some quite time now but I have yet to awaken from my deep slumber. It's just so easy to pretend I don't hear it calling and drift back to an endless dream of nothingness.

It feels confusing, being trapped in a thin line between reality and whatnot, when all I have to do is step out of it and choose a side. But it's not that easy... it has never been. It's like staying in the middle of a tug-of-war game, with both sides pulling, but you're not giving way to either because you're scared -- scared of choosing the wrong side... scared that they might consume you completely. So in the end, you just wouldn't let go. You just hold on to both of them and see who pulls harder because maybe, just maybe, you'll end up with the one who deserves you more.

It is cowardly, I know... but I have never really been that strong.

I'm tired of running around in circles. Tired of being caught up in situations I don't wanna be in. Tired of making up excuses. Tired of pretending everything is okay... that everything would be okay.

I wish it were that easy to just say "Hey, stop the world. I wanna get off..." and then the world would stop for me and I can just leave all this mess behind...

But just when I'm about to drift off to another peaceful slumber, I start hearing that small voice again saying "wake up, dear. reality's calling..." and I'll whisper back with a half-glare, "reality's such a bitch..."

Then, I'd be forced to get out of bed and face this unwanted guest. Invite her in for coffee and a one-sided conversation. I'll be sipping my coffee, nodding off my fake agreement from time to time, catching a few words but not really listening.

At the end of the day I'll look back and realize, "yeah, she's really a bitch... and look, she got puppies." And then, I'll just shrug it off, go to bed and get some sleep. It'll be another few hours before reality comes knocking on on my door again.