I've been drowning myself in so much words lately. Maybe to escape the fact that I need to create words, myself. 


But it's so easy to get yourself lost in a sea of words. 

Hundreds and thousands of words that never seem to end.

And you're drifting -- just  drifting until a crest of wave washes over you.

                  One

           after

     another.

Repeatedly, 

but never quite the same.

Some violent,

others, calm. 

Some cold,

others, warm.

You welcome them all

and let yourself drown some more.

(I grabbed these questions off tumblr because I'm bored and I needed something to awaken the almost-gone muses in me because I need to get back to writing.)


Favourite boy band of 90’s?
A1. I think they're the only band which I can actually name all the members. Haha. But I do like Westlife's songs, too.

Favourite food? 
Ooh. This is a tough one. I'll say sinigang this time.

What do you want to be when you’re older? 
A scientist.

First thought this morning? 
"...that was a weird dream."

Are you listening music right now? 
It's on shuffle. Carry You On by James Blunt is playing right now.

Favourite song ever? 
I don't think I have a favorite. There's just too many! And it depends on my mood.

Do you like piercings? 
I'm okay with ear piercings but other than that, no.

Favourite subject? 
Math (okay, I'm a nerd. the earth revolves around the sun. let's get over it.).

Favourite holiday of the year? 
Christmas.

Do you have tattoos or piercing? 
Ear piercing but I haven't been wearing earrings for years.

Have you ever met a famous person? 
Michael Johns. and Xian Lim (hahaha!).

Your nails are painted right now? 
Nope. But I probably should.

One country you would like to visit:
England! (but honestly, I'd love to go to any country in UK)

Favourite book? 
I really like Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

Do you watch any television series? 
YES! The ones I'm currently hooked to right now are Merlin, Sherlock, Once Upon a Time, and Psych.

Last dream you remember? 
I know my dream last night was weird but I can't remember what it was about. I think it involved covering up some crime or something and I'm not sure if I'm trying to solve the case or if I was part of the group covering it up. Haha.

Favourite colour. 
Blue. And Purple.

Tea or coffee? 
Coffee. I'm not very fond of tea. I don't even drink milktea that much. It's more of an acquired taste. And I only drink wintermelon milktea.

Something you hate. 
Cockroach! Not only do I hate them, I am also absolutely terrified of them.

OTP: 
Ohmygod. There's a lot! Right now I'm obsessed with Merthur/Brolin.

Do you speak more than one language? 
Yes. Filipino, English, and some basic Japanese.

Do you have any pets? 
We have two dogs at home. A maltese and a cross-breed of golden retriever and labrador.

Summer or winter?
Winter. Although I don't like the cold that much. And we've never had winter here in the Philippines. But winter always looked so pretty in pictures.

Dear subconscious,


Okay, that's it. You're dead. You are so dead.

Two nights in a row? Really? Couldn't you have waited for a week, or a day, at least? You're doing this to spite me, aren't you? You insufferable git.

That's not even the worst of it.

I'm doing my best here to move on to another phase in my life and here you are, reminding me of things that I don't want to think about but I am now forced to think of because you fucking decided it would be such a good idea to make them appear in my dreams.

And now I am confused because I'm not sure if I'm still supposed to think about it because I really don't want to be thinking about it because I don't care. Anymore. I don't care anymore, okay?

And oh god, you are so fired. I'm getting another Jiminy Cricket.

Dear subconscious,


Ohmygod, what is wrong with you!?

I thought we made it clear earlier this week that we're feeling the right feels already. Apparently, you weren't informed of that meeting. Either that, or you weren't listening at all.

Because seriously, what the fuck was that?

We're cool now, okay? We're not flat out ignoring each other but we're not overly friends, either. Let's just... leave it at that.

And of course I miss hanging out with them. I haven't seen them (well, the other one, at least) in so long. But that doesn't mean you can go around messing with my head and my feels and whatever.

Just stop it. I have enough things on my mind right now and I don't need you messing it up even more.

Let's just stick to the Merlin-themed dreams, alright?

Hit me with a bludger again and I'll kill you.



Rachel

A Stranger in His Own Place

the bell rang
a pot of tea was made,
stories exchanged,
laughter everywhere


but the tea was long gone
stories have ran out
and silence filled the air


so he left his guest
went back to his room
and took off his heavy mask


                                                                 the door remained closed

8 Slices of Pizza and a Basket of Mojos

those were not butterflies in my tummy,

it was just my stomach complaining for the lack of breakfast.

and i wasn't holding my breath because you're near,

it was because of the trashcan on my other side.

I was so frustrated earlier.

Because I was smiling while texting and it shouldn't have happened because there's nothing funny about what we were talking about.

And I refuse to entertain the other reason that could possibly explain why I was acting that way. It's just... ugh. I don't even want to think about it. I don't even want to think that I'm thinking about it.

Looking Back at January

2011.

So I started the year watching and reading angst. Maybe that's why my whole year turned crappy. Well, sort of.

January wasn't that great of a month for me. I was busy with school work, which I wasn't sure I could have handled considering my inability to concentrate for long periods of time and my apparent lack of sleep because of insomnia (which was probably caused by overthinking).

I also had a trip down memory lane during the time when I was still in high school and it really surprises me how much things have changed since then. But I think I'm still as emotionally-repressed as ever.

I really don't have much to say about my January. So I'll just leave a picture of me doing something productive for that month -- which is volunteering for AECES Interface. And oh, please do pardon my face.

Waiting for the groups at F325 with Charlotte and AJ.

With the other Interface volunteers after a successful 1st day. :)

Also, here's a picture of me looking so much stressed. I wasn't lying when I said it had been a busy month.

Haggardo Verzosa, much?

Year End Reminiscing

I had this wonderful idea of looking at how the year went for me so I decided I'm going to make a post for each month this year.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to accomplish by doing this but hopefully I'll figure it out by the time I'm done with it.

And of course I'm also making a draft about my "Grown Up New Year's Resolution List".

So there.

That moment when you get pissed off because someone unexpectedly made you smile.

Well, I wasn't really pissed off that much. It's just that I wasn't really expecting anything (although I admit I was kind of still hoping) and it suddenly came out of the blue and I didn't realize I was already smiling from something so trivial and it disturbs me why I reacted like that in the first place.

Le sigh.


But I feel like I can finally move on now. I don't think he hates me after all. I feel so silly all of a sudden. There goes five years of paranoia and over-thinking. Haha. Well, it's not like I can ask him straight to his face if he hates me or not. Still, five years is a bit too much, even for me. I'm just glad this is settled now. No more awkwardness in the future, I hope. :)