deadlines, eh?

darn.


i'm supposed to be at home right now, watching ninja turtles.


yup, those green creatures with shells on their back, wearing different colored bandanas. aren't they the coolest creatures you've ever seen...? lol.


oh shit. it's past six. i just missed an episode. again. bloody hell.


anyway... stupid rain. i'm stuck here at school. doing paper works. freezing to death. listening to the rumbling of my tummy every now and then. (i wonder if there's a wolf in there. i think that's howling that i hear. heh.)


man, this is stupid. i'm supposed to be doing my paper, not babbling about some useless, random stuffs. geez. i think i'm having another memory lapse. it seems that i'm forgetting that deadly thing called DEADLINE.


gah. it still bothers me why they call it 'deadline'.


dead.


line.


i don't see a point there. there's a line. and it's dead. how stupid can that get...?


hmmm... or maybe because one will be downright dead when he/she didn't submit the bloody requirement within that given time...?


makes sense somehow. -shrug-


but still, it's stupid. curse you whoever you are who thought of the insane idea of having bloody deadlines. (that's the craziest idea i've ever heard, just so you know.) to whoever you are, i hate you. you can go kill yourself now before i find you, else you wanted to die rather brutally.


oh... riiiight. i'm supposed to be bloody doing my paper.


and though it pains me to stop babbling, i'm afraid i have no choice. i have a bloody DEADLINE to put up with.


so yeah, i'm outta here.


later.

031707
Sec C- foyer
07:13pm


current mood: bored. tired.
current song: (i couldn't care less what it is)


take me in your arms
and let's fly away
up there to the countless stars
a world where we can go astray.

away from all this madness
that's slowly eating me inside
build me up a fortress
a place to feel safe and hide.

pull me out of this nightmare
wrapping me up in a cold embrace
and lead me through that flight of stairs
to save me from this frightful craze.

and no matter what happens
don't you ever let go
promise me you'll never let me drift
in that river that for all eternity will flow.

take me in your arms
and let's fly away
up there to the countless stars
a world where we can go astray

away from all this madness
that's slowly eating me inside
build me up a fortress
a place to feel safe and hide

pull me out of this nightmare
wrapping me up in a cold embrace
and lead me through that flight of stairs
to save me from this frightful craze

and no matter what happens
don't you ever let go
promise me you'll never let me drift
in that river that for all eternity will flow

Of Fools and Idiosyncracies

After three days, I still can't get my mind of that incident. That has got to be the most embarrassing day I ever had since I entered college.

Things had been pretty normal that day. I was reading a novel, pretending and utterly failing to study for a quiz, cramming my homework and such... yup, normal indeed.

Or so i thought...

We had to attend this 'Harry Potter' talk for our English class. So there we were, seated at the backmost of the lecture room, waiting for the speaker to apparate and start his/her talk, when somebody told us we were in the wrong room. -.-" Turns out there was a sign just outside the door that the 'Harry Potter' talk was moved elsewhere. Oops, sorry, I must have had a brain malfunction.

It wouldn't have been that embarrassing if the other occupants of the room weren't staring at us as we went outside the room. geez... they should mind their own business, really.

I can only hope that was the embarrassing part of my story. But that's only the start of it. I should have taken it as some sort of premonition.

So yeah, we went to the blasted room, attended the talk, yadayadayada... I was seated right in front of the speaker, two seats in front of my teacher, and I was busy doing my homework for my next subject, Literature. I don't know if the speaker, or my teacher, saw me or they were just pretending not to see me. Well, either way, I don't care. I was just waiting for the speaker to end her talk quickly so that we can all go.

We didn't leave the room right after the talk was finished. We lingered there for a few minutes talking about the novel we were supposed to discuss in Literature. There were still a few of us who haven't finished reading the novel so we were sharing some insights. I was the one who went out of the room first and they followed suit. Two guys who were walking right beside me, engaged in a conversation that went something like this:

Guy1: anong chapter ka na ba?
Guy2: chapter one pa lang...

Of course I was kinda shocked because the novel was four chapters long, not to mention we are supposed to have a quiz that afternoon. And so, I reacted a bit too quickly. I took a half-step forward so that I can at least face them sideways while we talk and exclaimed, "seryoso??!"

They were taller than me so I had to look up just to see their faces and you can just imagine my disbelief when I realized that those two weren't my blockmates and they just happened to be walking beside me, talking about some stuffs. O.o oh god... and they were shocked as well. They were looking at me with a weird look on their faces that can be translated to something like 'huh? what the hell is your problem? do we bloody know you?'

It was really bloody embarrassing...! I almost wished I could evaporate, melt, sublime, apparate, or whatever means of vanishing there is. Congratulations twerp, another brain malfunction strikes again.

Darn. I didn't know I could be so stupid. I almost wanted to hit my head on the wall in shame. If wearing a paper bag over my head wouldn't be more embarrassing, I would have considered doing that. Actually, I did. but since there was no paper bag available, I settled on hiding behind my blockmate's back all the way to our classroom.

It could've been funny in any other case. Actually, I find myself laughing at that silly situation. But yeah, it's pretty hard to laugh at yourself when you know that you've just made yourself the laughing stock of the world for the next ten million years. Maybe I should start writing my autobiography. And I could entitle it A Series of Unfortunate Events. Yeah. That would be nice. At least I'd still be the laughing stock of the world after that ten million years lasted. Ha.

Anyway, before I embarrass myself furthermore, I'm ending this post. I'm not even sure why I posted this. Some sort of remembrance, maybe. *shrug*

An Idiot's Guide to Oral Presentations

[1] Do not eat anything before the OP. 

This will guarantee you a splitting headache with a touch of lightheaded-ness. It will make you feel like you are floating. Isn't that great?

[2] Sleep late the night before your OP. 

You'll bore yourself with your speech and start mumbling things that are not related to you topic.

[3] Maintain eye contact. 

Your OP would have been effective if you're maintaining eye contact with the audience, not with the wall at the back of the room.

[4] Make a script. 

And leave it on your chair so that you can stutter all your way through your OP.

[5] Choose an airconditioned room for the OP. 

And freeze yourself to death before your presentation starts.

It's not everyday you get to meet a psychotic teacher

Fuck. What the hell?! who, in their right minds, would suddenly accuse a group of innocent people to be a bunch of liars? Well, I’ll be damned. Only she can do that.

It’s not everyday that you get to meet a psychotic teacher. I can only thank the gods for keeping my sanity intact all these time. I could’ve strangled her right then and there. Arrrgghh… c’mon, anyone who had the bad luck of knowing her won’t even dare disagree with me. Well, not unless they wanted to die from the hands of all those people who wanted so much to get rid of her.

-sigh- if only it’s that easy to just blatantly scream to her face that she’s f****** insane. But damn, my grade is at stake here. Unless I want to fail her subject that badly and die of embarrassment afterwards, I have no choice but to risk my sanity and put up with all her madness. Oh, merciful gods from above, what have I done to deserve such cruelty? I haven’t even plotted murder [yet] against my previous lab teacher no matter how incredibly annoying he (she..?) is.

I dare you to say that my reasons are not justifiable. I’ll state them out clearly for you, if you want. It was only when I met her that I really understood the meaning of ‘looks can be deceiving’. Hah! Deceiving, my a**! I was stupid enough to believe she had any bit of goodness in her. Okay, I’ll give her 1% of goodness for giving me partial points – wait, make that partial point (without the 'S') - in my last long exam. Like that would help. Duh.

I wouldn’t have been so scared to recite in her class if it weren’t for the gut feeling that i'd get that she has this ability to eat me, if not the whole class, alive. Okay... that's just sick... eurgh... but still, my statement still stands. She's just too easy to hate. Besides, what kind of teacher would tell her students that they should already know whatever it is that they were asking her about. Uhhmm... hello? Earth to you, i'm-not-saying-your-name-coz-it's-taboo. That's why we asked, isn't it? Coz we don't f****** understand what the hell it is that you're talking about. Oh, for goodness sake! You're a teacher! And teachers are supposed to TEACH, not make students feel that they can't get any more stupid than they feel they already are. And she's the only teacher i know who takes her anger out on her students' grades (well, aside from my physics teacher back in HS, that is).

As much as i wanted to elaborate on her being such an a**, i'm afraid i might go to hell if i do so. Ahh, i pity the fool who fell in love with her. Ooops... my tongue, i mean hand, slipped. Forget i ever said that. XD

And now, i can only pray for some sort of divine intervention to save us, if not me, from this cruel madness . If that won't work, i doubt anything else will.

Well, i guess i better stop ranting. Someone might sue me for doing so. But i think being in prison is better than having her for a teacher. Lol. Juz kidding. XD XD i just hope she doesn't read this. -deadpan- but if, by any chance, she does, it's either she kills me, or i kill myself in shame beforehand... oh well, at least one got rid of the other. -shrug- anyway, i really ought to end this post. I'm still too young to die. I still need to live to start a hate campaign against her. -evil laugh-

well, i'm off. Later, guys.

Ja mata ashita. ^_~

Blinding Ignorance

I guess I was just to blind to see
that you were always right beside me
but now that you're gone,
I'm not really sure
if all of that was real,
or just a mere game of illusion

you stood with me like a shadow
and I thought you'd never leave
but when darkness came and embraced me,
you were nowhere to be seen

you were always there to guide me -
a blinding light so I won't stray
but I can't seem to understand
why you chose to leave me behind
when night came and held me a prisoner

you don't have to stay if you don't want to
so stop pretending that you care
because in this cold, dark place I am drowning in
I am left to drift alone in my misery

the low beating of drums calls out to me from afar
but I'm too tired to open my eyes
because it's either I find no one out there,
or i'll just fail to see them

Worthless things I just have to ponder on...

Sigh.

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now... that effing math midterms drained me - mentally and emotionally.

I'm not happy.

Nor depressed.

Nor fustrated.

I just feel... empty.

No, not really empty. It's more like empty in an I-don't-feel-anything-else kind of empty.

Okay, that confused me.

Who cares?

I'm not even in the mood to rant. Or ramble, at the very least.

This is so not me.

Honestly, this is starting to scare me. Recently, I always find myself staring in space for no reason at all. Not normal, I know. But what is normal?

Nothing is.

I feel so restless.

Maybe I'm dying.

Or not. =.=

Sigh.

And now, in the middle of a silent night, shattered by the loud yet surprisingly comforting music I never understood, I'm left to ponder about things that are not even worth pondering on...

things such as life...

and death...

things that are so abstract... yet so real...

things that can't exist without the other...

things that are defined yet left unexplained...

ah, the irony of things...

it never ceases to amaze me.

which leads me back to thinking how ironic life can really be...

when all you see is the treasure box and not the gold within...

I pity the fool who found this box...

but never had the key to open it...

that's when the bittersweet truth hits you hard...

when you thought you had everything,

when in fact you have nothing...

ah, life.

words can never be enough to explain it.

pull me out of this trance I was slowly sucked into
wake me up from this dream I was never meant to be in
offer some light to this world enveloped by darkness

on second thought...

coldness can be a good company.

it numbs you of the pain you never wanted to feel.

it turns you into a block of ice, incapable of feeling anything.

it makes you... indifferent.

and now you tell me,
cause I can never tell;
if it's better to feel false emotions,
or to stop feeling at all.

Ang saya ng Blue Christmas XD

hmmm...

wla lng...

sobrang nkakapagod ung blue christmas nmin knina...

6am ung assembly namin sa school...

so 5o'clock gising na ko...

tpos diretso dun sa meeting place...

di pa ko kumakain ng breakfast...

sobrang kumakalam na sikmura ko kasi nakalimutan ko ding kumain ng
dinner kagabi...

haayy... katangahan complex...

so aun...

nagapakamatay na lang ako sa gutom hanggang sa maisipan kong
magbreakfast...

tpos sobrang busy kami buong araw...

nag-aassist ng mga faci...

halos 6pm na ntapos un event eh...

hanepz, halos 12hrs din...

haaayy... buti na lang successful nmn ung event...

pero nag-enjoy nman kming lahat...

naglaro kasi kami sa inflatable slides pakatapos...

hehehe!! XD XD

actually para un sa kids pero humirit na lng kmi...

lmao...

nyweiz, gottta go...

magsisimbang gabi pa ko eh...

(banal, no? lol..)

'geh po...

ja matta ne..

^_~

"Hold On"
~Michiyo Nakamura

I close my eyes
and let myself drown
in this whirlpool of regret
reaching out for every bit of hope i can grasp ---
hoping that someone would take my hand
and save me from this hell i myself created

but now i realize
'tis a place where the sun doesn't shine
and now i'm drowning here
in this sea of lie and pretence
waiting for someone to take my hand ---

and as i slip away
from every bit of sanity
that is left in me
the bittersweet pain of reality hit me hard:
that no matter how hard i try to escape,
there simply is no way out

and finally darkness held me in a cold embrace
all those years of waiting has come to an end
but only one thing is for certain:
i did not let go ---
they just forgot to hold on.