Worthless things I just have to ponder on...

Sigh.

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now... that effing math midterms drained me - mentally and emotionally.

I'm not happy.

Nor depressed.

Nor fustrated.

I just feel... empty.

No, not really empty. It's more like empty in an I-don't-feel-anything-else kind of empty.

Okay, that confused me.

Who cares?

I'm not even in the mood to rant. Or ramble, at the very least.

This is so not me.

Honestly, this is starting to scare me. Recently, I always find myself staring in space for no reason at all. Not normal, I know. But what is normal?

Nothing is.

I feel so restless.

Maybe I'm dying.

Or not. =.=

Sigh.

And now, in the middle of a silent night, shattered by the loud yet surprisingly comforting music I never understood, I'm left to ponder about things that are not even worth pondering on...

things such as life...

and death...

things that are so abstract... yet so real...

things that can't exist without the other...

things that are defined yet left unexplained...

ah, the irony of things...

it never ceases to amaze me.

which leads me back to thinking how ironic life can really be...

when all you see is the treasure box and not the gold within...

I pity the fool who found this box...

but never had the key to open it...

that's when the bittersweet truth hits you hard...

when you thought you had everything,

when in fact you have nothing...

ah, life.

words can never be enough to explain it.

pull me out of this trance I was slowly sucked into
wake me up from this dream I was never meant to be in
offer some light to this world enveloped by darkness

on second thought...

coldness can be a good company.

it numbs you of the pain you never wanted to feel.

it turns you into a block of ice, incapable of feeling anything.

it makes you... indifferent.

and now you tell me,
cause I can never tell;
if it's better to feel false emotions,
or to stop feeling at all.