UPCAT Results are out.

I'm just a bit depressed about the fact that I never experienced that "giddiness/anxiety attack" high school seniors have while waiting for the college entrance exam results.

I mean, four years ago, internet wasn't always readily available in school and you are one of the lucky ones if you get to bring a laptop in the dormitory. Even then, you can only access the internet in the computer room. I guess we weren't as much technology-advanced and dependent back then as we are right now.

I did not experience constantly refreshing a certain university's website so I can access the results right away. I was not one of those who line up in front of those boards, squeezing myself between other people so I can check my name on the list (but I did this when my sister took the ACET).

And looking back at it now, it's like I didn't really care if I passed or not. Or maybe I cared less then. I don't know. I don't even remember being ecstatic when the results are out and they told me that I passed. Maybe I was a bit relieved. I was just like "Okay, I passed. Now what?"

I wished I showed a bit more emotion. It seems like I wasn't at all grateful that I passed all the entrance exams that I took. But it's not like I wasn't really grateful. I was but I guess I just wasn't interested in going to college at that time. I mean, I wasn't ready to give up high school yet.

I never like changes. And going to college would be a major change for me. I had to live further away from home. Meet new people. Adjust my comfort zone. And a lot more.

And it's happening again right now. I took a job entrance exam, passed it, and now they are asking me for a personality interview schedule which I am not replying to. Maybe I am scared. Scared because this stuff is supposed to be for grown-ups and I am not quite the grown-up everyone else seems to be.

But I'll get there someday. Maybe.