take the words away from me
and I will be left with nothing

kung matapang lang ako,
sa'yo ko binigay ang puso blue rose ko.

Hold On

I close my eyes
and let myself drown
in this whirlpool of regret
reaching out for every bit of hope I can grasp ---
hoping that someone would take my hand
and save me from this hell I myself created

but now I realize
'tis a place where the sun doesn't shine
and now I'm drowning here
in this sea of lie and pretence
waiting for someone to take my hand ---

and as I slip away
from every bit of sanity
that is left in me
the bittersweet pain of reality hit me hard:
that no matter how hard i try to escape,
there simply is no way out

and finally darkness held me in a cold embrace
all those years of waiting has come to an end
but only one thing is for certain:
I did not let go ---
they just forgot to hold on.

(c) 2006

That was when I finally let myself cry. I cried for him. I cried for myself. I cried for what could have been.


If only I had just found the courage to tell him.


If only I had quit putting it off until someday.


My someday had never come.



I really should stop reading angst stories. T_T

The Pulse will be beating soon

The Pulse Staff
(L-R: Adrian, Kris, Vincent, Via, Rachel, EJ, AJ, Keir, Chris)

Meet the staff of Pulse, the (supposedly-printed-but-turned-online) publication of AECES.

We're going to release the online magazine soon so watch out for it! :)


And now back to editing the articles. Dun dun dun...

The what-ifs and could-have-beens

The most painful thoughts are the what ifs and could have beens.

...what if I finished it on time?

...I could have been part of that, too. 

But there's nothing I can do about it now.

Dear ECCE 2011,

You guys are the best. I love you. ♥

Like, major major. Haha.


Love,
Rachel


P.S.
Sorry emo. Kakatapos lang ng Pabaon e. Trololol.

Troll troll trolling in Omegle

I was supposed to be doing some editing tonight but I got bored and decided to troll in Omegle instead.

Well, tried to troll, that is. I ended up having a decent conversation with someone. I fail at trolling. Le sigh.

He said his name is James. I was instantly reminded of James from Team Rocket. Ha.

I also tried trolling using Disney song lyrics. It was more successful than the previous one, if I may say. And I love how he's clueless that it was a song.

Dear people-who-make-me-smile-even-when-we're-miles-apart,

Thank you. It means a lot to me.

I love you.


Much love,
Rachel

She sits there with a cup of coffee, a book in hand.


Minutes passed, a page of the book is turned. She glances at her watch and takes a sip of her coffee.


People continue to pass her by. She watches them. They come and go. Some stay for a while, some leave quickly.


She turns to her book again, drowns herself in the words. Falling, feeling. 


Another page is turned.


"You're coffee's getting cold," someone says. She looks up and shrugs nonchalantly.


"Took you long enough," she says. "The coffee isn't the only one getting cold." 


A coat is offered in apology. It was ignored.


She stands up to leave. The coffee cup was half-empty, the book unfinished.