Coin Flip

Okay, so I'm back to my dilemma of accepting the EB position or not.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't even remember why I ran for the AVP position. Sometimes, I swear, it was just to amuse myself but something's telling me it was more than that. I had a cause. I just don't know where it vanished to.

So I went through all that trouble to run for AVP. I barely survived, but managed to pull through, a four-hour long miting de avance. Got disqualified a day before the elections. Moped for who-knows-how-long due to the unexpected turn of events. And finally, got over all that drama. 

Then they offered me the VP position. I didn't know what to say. Half of me wanted to accept it but the other stubborn, more reasonable half is saying no. I've thought about it a lot. I've weighed the pros and cons. I really don't know if I can handle the responsibilities of being a VP. I know the other members of the EB are there to help out but I'm not fit for that kind of job. I just know I'm not. Then there's still the slap-in-the-face, wake-up call from last semester. After that effed up sem, which left me depressed and disappointed with the results, I know I needed to focus more on my studies. I can't afford to take any extra load. So even though I really wanted to take up the challenge, I turned down the offer with hopes of not regretting that decision later on.

But now they're offering me the original position I ran for -- AVP for Academics. I am torn. I've been thinking about it. The only thing that I was scared of when I was running was the fact that there's no one running for the VP position, and that I will be forced into that position if ever I got elected. I also did not accept their offer of the said position because I didn't think I would be able to handle it. So what's keeping me from accepting the AVP position? The fact that my VP would be an underclassman? Well, I don't think that's much of an issue. I'm okay with a junior ordering me aorund. We're prolly of the same age anyway. Maybe it's just another case of being scared of committing myself to work for a long time. I've always been a quitter. I know I am. And this time, if ever I accept the position, I know there's no turning back. I just can't quit half-way. I know there's no way I can say "hey, I don't like this job very much. Go find a replacement for me." That just won't do.

I need to come up with a decision. They're not gonna wait for my reply forever. Please, let me have an epiphany.